Feeling Sorry

Everyone feels sorry! (exept god) It may be for us or for others. But sometimes when you feel sorry for others, you may hurt them. Be carful with your feelings, they get hurt too! Love God

Peace out

Friends

So I have this one friend. She is really nice and is true to herself and to many others. She is so kind and caring it is amazing. She is very close to god it seems and she is a great example of how god helps everyone and speaks to everyone in a different way. She has showed/taught me many things in life and with god. The one act of her kindness I would like to share is how she should me that a friend can help you through everything, and that you will always have one friend with you, god. Keep being good!!!

Peace

Help

Helping is what God does in our lives and what we should do to eachother. I like helping people but I have trouble asking for help myself. I'm the kind of guy who will drop everything to help you in a heart beat. But here is where I a bad at asking for help. I know my blog is not very popular but I have posted alot of posts already and I am out of ideas. So if you have a problem or something that you need help with I would love to help you and write a blog for your problem. If you do not feel comfortable leaving a comment on your problem give me a note if you know me or you can e-mail me at codehockey19@hotmail.ca

Peace

Saddness

Saddness is in everyones life, (if it isn't then your doing really good)some saddness is greater than other and it may all depend on the person too. Saddness may also come with depression and/or anger. On this subject I already told you my story(s). So I can only tell you how God fits into a subject like saddness. God will always be there for you but you must know that he is there. You may not realize it strat away but he is there for you.

Depression

This may get a little heavy for some of you because this gets a little emotional because I have had alot of personal experiences with dEpression. I do not advice commenting on this post because it is very emotional for me and if you comment and I do not understand it correctly then I may get hurt.

Depression affects many people, but everyone has to remember that god is there for them no matter what. He loves you and can help you through anything. Some people foget that fact. This post will show you what happens when you forget God loves you always.

So in my earlier post (love and loss) I told you how I got a little depressed there, it was more than I led you to think. When people call me fat it makes me depressed, when people call me names because of how tall I am I get depressed, just little things like that add on to eachother, and when they all come at once it's not fun to deal with. Last year after the Ottawa trip, the girl I liked was going out with another guy and it made me really depressed because it had happend before and all I could do was think "I guess I'm no good for anyone or anything." So I come back home and call up my grandparents to let them know how my trip was and that so we get to talking about my trip and how it went and stuff like that. The subject then changes on to hockey and my grandparents tell me I'm no good at hockey from the last time they saw me play and how proud they are of my cousin instead. So that's how that phone call ended. Adding more depression onto my plate. So now I start thinking "I'm no good at hockey or any sport." So I go to school the next day thinking about all of that and it leads to a bad day. Everyone in the grade starts calling me bigfoot and skyscraper. So now I think "Oh I'm ugly and I deserve to die." That's right, my depression got so bad to the point I was thinking suicide. Someone foind out about my intentions and told the councilor. So now I have to talk to this councilor about depression. But their are a few more things about me, I am forgetful and I am shy. I can't falt to anyone really well. So I had to use the note app on my iPod to talk with this councilor. She didn't help at all. I forgot about God. I committed a terrible si and forgot about God. The only thing that cured my depression finally was the fact god was with me. Don't take that forgranted, be with God.

Violence

As you know from my first blog, I'm a big guy and naturally people think im violent but I'm not. I try to be a friendly guy until you start to get on my nerve. That's when I show you up and act tough. Bu I'm not, I'm the big teddy bear that people don't like and are scard of. Anyways, that's off topic, violence is not the answer. God doesn't want to to walk around punching people in the face, satin does but God wants you to go around loving everyone. Today I had a hockey game and I'm not the nicest guy at hockey but no one ever is. I walk into the change room and I see that a kid is sitting in my spot. So I nicely move his bag and sit down and start to change. He walks in and freaks out because I moved his bag. He starts throwing my stuff all over the place and ordering me to move. I say no and take off my shirt showing I won't move. He starts moking me to try to provok my violent side, but I just kept changing because I knew God does not like violence. He finally walk away and sat somewhere else. He got kicked out later that game and is now on an one game suspension for cross-check from behide. But you have to see that violence isn't the answer, doing what is right in God's eyies is. Be peaceful.

Distractions

Distractions are everywhere, anything that brings you farther away from god is a distraction. So you may think that means all electronics are a distraction, but no. You can download the bible and most items and always have the word of god with you. It a very good idea to always have the word of god with you. It could help you when your feeling down . Get close to god.

Looks

So the title says looks and on my earlyer post (More Me) I had told you a story about my looks. But this blog isn't about facial looks, it's about physicl looks too. I'm not the most attractive guy around. I don't have muscles showing like mad like most guys. In matter of fact, I am told everyday that I am fat. But looks don't matter. If god wanted you to look any different, he would of made you different. You don't need to change what you look like so that someone will like you or anything like that. I'll admite I personaly have/am tring to change my looks, but that is because I would like to just see myself in a different way. But the way god made you is the way your ment to be, no matter what. Don't let anyone tell you anything different.

More Me

WARNING-WARNING, DO NOT COMMENT ON THIS POST! I REPET: DO NOT COMMENT ON THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok, I'm not perfect, I mean no one is exept god of course. But I did forget to mention some things in my first post. (AKA The Start) I forgot to tell you vidle information about my self and their is also a story in here as well. Anyways... I like to rime and write poems and poetry and that kinda stuff. I'm not soft on the out-side, but I do have feelings and they get hurt to just like everyone else gets hurt. I know that sounds a little off but try to understand. I don't like anyone to know though because people have thought less of me because I show my feelings a little different than most. I like to sing and write songs. But no one knows that, I mean no one. When I try to sing anywhere I get told to shut up or they make fun of me because they think I'm a really bad singer. I wish I was a good sing, but we can't all be perfect. I also like to draw. I know I'm terrible at it and that my drawings make people laugh but drawing calms me and I wish I could draw better too. That way people can laugh at me just a little bit less. My feelings get hurt really easy and I can feel really bad at times. If you can't see my face (this only works with those of you who know me) then I am very sad and hurt. Now it is coming close to the story part of the blog!! For those of you who don't know me deserve a little bit better of a description of me. Here it is... I'm ugly. Ta da. Big shocker for everyone right, nope. I know I'm ugly because I'm told so everyday, I'm also called fat everyday but I am barely eating because of sports so I hope soon people will start to call me skinny. But now here is the story... Everyday I am told I am ugly, I can choose how to take that, and I choose to take it in one way. That god made me in a way that is important, god made me so someone will like me for who I am, not what I look like. So same goes for everyone, your all beautiful in your own way. And if you think otherwise, let me know and I'll proove you wrong. Your all beautiful.

Love and loss

Ok. Another thing that alot of people worry about is finding a boy-friend/girl-friend. Just so you know, there are alot of people in the world. You are not ment for all of them. For instance I will give you two of my personal encounters and show you that what I am saying is true. Last year in grade 8, their was this one girl who I thought was perfect. I told her how I felt and she told me strate up that she didn't like me in that way but she still wanted to be friends with me. Now that wasn't bad, I can handle that, but the next two are painful for me. Again, last year after the last girl I tried asking out I thought that I might ask out another girl because I felt lonely and also had an attraction for this girl. So I flirted with her for the longest time, I was nice to her, I was nice to her friends, I was nice to her siblings, I even did alot of things for her. So one night I'm texting her and I tell her how I feel. She says "Oh that's cool, well you might have a chance." and I thought that ment I was golden. For the next two days I am flirting with her at night having a good time and she is leading me on this whole time. The next day she is holding hands and kissing another guy. I was mad but not because I couldn't get the girl, but because she didn't tell me that it wasn't going to work out between us. So this was the last time I was going to take a chance with a girl. I was flirting with this girl all year and doing stuff for her. Well one week before the end of the year trip, I tell her how I feel. She says "Oh, really. That's sweet." and I think that was a good sign. Wrong, she makes me think that I have a shot with her up till the point were in Ottawa and I was going to ask her out to the dance in Ottawa. So we get to the dance and I get up and walk over to her table only to see her holding hands and kissing another guy. I was depressed at that point to no extent. I could of cared less if I died right then and there. But I thought later that night, what would jesus do? And I answered "love me like he has alwaysed done." And that is why you can handle to be with-out a boy-friend/girl-friend for for a long time. It's because god forever more cares and loves you. Just because I have given up on love doesn't mean you should though. I now only love god. But their are more than 3 billion people, one of them will love you, you just have to look.

Again

Ok, so I just had dinner and it was good. My sister's boy-friend brought apple pie, my favorite. So I was the first done dinner and I wanted to try that pie. But I wasn't allowed to cut it. Why you may ask, because they think im fat and was going to take a huge peice. So I was begging someone to cut the pie for me otherwise I was going to get in trouble. So my mom and sister began to argue about who was going to park on the road. 10 minutes later I got P.Oed but I kept my cool and went to my room insted. Next thing I know I hear yelling, screaming, and laughter. I leave my room to find my sister crying in her room, my mom and her boy-friend trying to get in. I go out to the kitchen and see the pie... still un-cut. So im heading back to my room and instead my mom calls me over and tells me to open the door, mean-while my mom and her boy-friend are sweet talking her so she will stop crying. I went back to my room and just watched t.v speechless. Why you may ask, because when-ever I get upset and go to my room and sit infront of the door, I get in trouble and yelled at no matter what. But it happens so offten now that I am used to it. So insted of getting too upset I just kept my cool because I know god cares for me and so do my friends at sports. So if you ever have that happen to you, keep your cool and relax. Tomorrow is another day were it can get better. You have friends that you can talk to, sports to play, and god to love you, and no matter what, you always have at least one of those.

The Start

So this is the start of my new blog. Here in this first post I will tell you a little about me and that kind of jazz. I am a tall guy, I am 6'5 at the age of 14 and I weigh 220. I play house-league hockey as well as select hockey. I also play travel basketball and high school football. I ref hockey as well as I am a service technician for 84 stores. But thats only in the winter. During the summer I play softball and summer hockey (still 5 on 5) and ump softball. So that is me and my life. You would think that with all the sports I play, I would be a popular guy, but no. In grade 8, I was picked on everyday and people called me names like "saskwatch" "bigfoot" and stuff like that. Ya, I get it, I have size 16 feet and am twice the size of you, so whay? That is no reason to make fun of someone. But they thought they would be cool and make fun of me anyways. Plus, on top of all that people didn't want to be friends with me, and no girls even looked at me. So ya it harshed my mood alot. It actually got so bad that I became deathly depressed. But I did my best to stick through it and I did. Now I go to high school where everyone is so nice and is way cool and doesn't hate me. So I know a little about bullying and I might be able to help if you drop me a comment. Oh ya, thier is something else you need to know. 1 is that I am a horrible speller, and 2 is the fact that I am christian. Peace people until my next post!  ;)